Art by Ron Garney and Mark Morales
- Name: Sammy Paré
- Code Names: Squid-Boy
- First Appearance: Uncanny X-Men #410 (Oct ’02)
- Powers: Generic Aquatic Powers
- Teams Affiliation: X-Men
About
In the 2010 Christmas episode of the show Community, Abed Nadir (the website TVTropes given human form) gets asked by his friend why he is excited to do something that he should otherwise hate. Abed’s response is succinct and poignant, “I guess I just like liking things.” This was exactly my attitude towards Chuck Austen’s run on the X-Men titles, I didn’t want to be miserable, I didn’t want to hate it, I just wanted to enjoy the hours I would spend reading it. While that optimism got slowly destroyed by the 3rd arc, I was able to refocus and try to enjoy the one specific bright spot of an otherwise nausea inducing run, Squid-Boy and Juggernaut. Now I remembered Squid-Boy, I vividly recalled reading his introduction on the original Marvel Unlimited prototype years ago, but what I would find is that inside the muck of questionable romantic relationships, nonsensical plots, and fundamental misunderstandings of characters, was a gem of a classic X-Men story. A boy finally finding a place to fit in.
Sammy Paré was a Vancouver kid with an unfortunate gift, he was able to survive aquatically and had the appearance to match. His classmates took every advantage to torment him about it about it and it pushed Sammy to a dark place. In his ramshackle fort, next to his dirty posters and old newspapers, Sammy kept a revolver and stared at it with dark intent. His mother yelled at him to come in for dinner, and Sammy tucked the gun in his waistband. He didn’t want to leave his fort, he felt safe there, but he knew the beating his father would have in store for him if he knew Sammy was disobeying. Maybe he would get hit even if he did everything right, Sammy could never tell what his father would do. But the boy could never have expected to see the modified Blackbird parked on his street. Charles Xavier was there with an opportunity that would change Squid-Boy’s life.
Art by Ron Garney and Mark Morales
Sammy was left in shock. Was he special enough to go to a mutant school? Could he be one of the X-Men? He wouldn’t be different anymore? He couldn’t pack fast enough. His parents were concerned but knew this would be the best for their son and let him board the jet. In route to the Xavier Institute, Charles picked up a distress call from his X-Men in Scotland and rushed over. They had gotten caught in a domestic dispute between Black Tom and his platonic life partner Cain Marko, the unstoppable Juggernaut. Tom knocked Cain into the bay and Sammy sprang into action, he didn’t like to see anyone pushed around by bullies. He dove into the water, swam deep, and pulled Juggernaut to safety. One day on the job and the 10-year-old was already acting like a superhero.
Art by Ron Garney and Mark Morales
Sammy took a little to get acclimated at Xavier’s. He played with another new kid, Carter Ghazikhanian, but he still felt like he was an outsider. Juggernaut was still hanging around the school after having his life saved and Sammy was drawn to him. Juggs was tolerated at best and hated at worst on the school grounds but Sammy looked up to him. Cain reluctantly let the kid tag along and the two, oddly enough, bonded. Sammy told him about the anger he had inside, how his was planning to kill classmates, how he thought that deep down, he was just a villain waiting to happen. In turn, Cain told him about his abusive father, his disdain for his step-brother, and his dream of a better life.
Art by Kia Asamiya and JD Smith
After the famous riot at Xavier’s (which you can read about here if you want to), the government declared the Xavier Institute unsafe for children in what was one of the most reasonable rulings from the Westchester County Board of Education. This drew the attention of Canadian officials who, in keeping in line with their long history of being the worst to mutants, sent Alpha Flight to extract a citizen from the school. Them finding the Squid-Boy playing pass with a terrorist who once knocked down one of the towers of the World Trade Center did not help matters. The standoff turned into an all-out brawl, as these superhero meetings are want to do, and Sammy had enough. He told the officials that he would go back home on his own accord. Cain bid him a tearful goodbye and promised to visit him as often as he could.
Art by Ron Garney and Mark Morales
Sammy’s life became much worse at home. His father continued to beat him and Sammy dreamed of his time at Xavier’s and wished he had someone strong like Juggernaut to protect him. His father refused to believe Sammy was even his own son anymore, he was so disgusted in his mutation. The beatings didn’t stop when his left the house, his old bullies were still there, but Sammy decided to fight back. If Cain had taught him anything it was how to stand up for himself.
Art by Phillip Tan
Against international law, Juggernaut traveled to Vancouver to visit his young friend and after seeing the bruises on Sammy’s face completely lost it. In Cain’s mind, no one was going to hurt Sammy the way his father hurt him. Juggernaut threw Claude Paré through the walls of his house and was met with resistance, again, from Alpha Flight. Even as Juggernaut went on his rampage, Sammy knew he would never hurt him or his mother and when Cain realized that he was hurting Sammy more than helping, he stopped fighting. Cain avoided a long prison sentence when Sammy’s mother made an impassioned plea to drop the charges and sent Squid-Boy back to Xavier’s.
Art by Takeshi Miyazawa, Craig Yeung, and Scott Elmer
Sammy enjoyed being back at the Institute but was troubled when Cain acted more distant. Sammy followed him into the woods one day to discover a dark secret, all along the Juggernaut was working with the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. When he saw his hero was a sham, Sammy lost it, he let Cain know how disgusted he was with him, how much he hated him, and how he wasn’t going to let the Brotherhood succeed. Squid-Boy stood his ground, he was a hero, and X-Man, but it was not enough to stop Black Tom from beating him to death. Juggernaut was horrified by Sammy’s murder and turned on his companions but the damage was already done, he irrevocably ruined the one thing he did right.
Art by Salvador Larroca, Danny Miki, and Udon
Must Read
Squid-Boy only appeared in Chuck Austen’s run on the X-Books and even if his and Juggernaut’s relationship is the best part of that era, I cannot in good faith recommend anyone read it. It isn’t as bad as you have heard, it is worse. Instead, I am going to recommend watching the Wolverine & The X-Men episode X-Calibre. Nightcrawler fights pirates from the Mojoverse and Squid-boy helps. You won’t love the character afterward, but it is a way better way to spend your time than trying to slog through anything Austen wrote.
Ranking
Squid-Boy is the closest thing to a diamond in the rough that there is in Austen’s X-Men work. That doesn’t make him good, just better than all the other crap that is in it. I like him better than Shark-Girl down at the bottom of the list but can honestly say I would rather read another story with Marrow than ever flash back to a time when Squid-Boy was alive. That puts him as the new 41 in Xavier Files.
Squid-Boy was requested by Vincent on Patreon. Thanks for the request and support. If you want to cut to the front of the line, we have a Patreon if you want to support it and get a line cutting reward for just a $1 pledge. We just hit our first goal and are now working toward the $25 dollar goal where I review X-Books every week in some form, maybe even interpretative dance. Oh and we also have exclusive physical items so check those out!
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— Xavier Files (@XavierFiles) October 19, 2016
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Zachary Jenkins co-hosts the podcast Battle of the Atom and is the former editor-in-chief of ComicsXF. Shocking everyone, he has a full and vibrant life outside all this.
