Big, big news that I am proud to break this week.
Let’s get right to it.
Today (July 20): DClassified: Week of Announcements Begins
After last week’s news that DC will be releasing Rorschach, a 12-issue maxiseries by writer Tom King and artist Jorge Fornés that represents a mystifying return to the Watchmen well, the publisher has apparently decided to double down on controversial, deplorable, nonsensical or otherwise gutter-trash books.
And I have the scoop on all of them in a document and source dump I’m calling “DClassified.”
While I am not at liberty to reveal my sources, I can attest to the veracity of this absolutely real information that is in no way the result of my personal experimentation with drain cleaner as a cheap and easy decongestant. For some of the upcoming books, I have detailed plots and creative teams — even some notes from Warner suits — while for the projects still under development, I have only hazy sketches. I can also say that the general PR strategy for this week calls for two new books to be announced each day starting with:
UNTITLED BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS PROJECT: My source wasn’t clear whether this would be a Supes book or if it signals Bendis’ expansion beyond Superman in his nascent DC tenure, but I’m told the six-issue miniseries will introduce “the most dangerous villain ever known anywhere, I’m super cereal,” who will be forgotten as soon as the book concludes.
UNTITLED SCOTT SNYDER PROJECT: “This has been under development for years,” my source says. “Goes all the way back to Scott’s time in second grade when he was first writing stories in Mrs. McDonald’s class — he’s been laying the groundwork that long.” I’m told he’s been pushing for an eight-issue main series with 15 tie-ins, a sourcebook, a visual dictionary, seven audiobooks and an immersive ARG that “will reward the fans who have been really paying attention,” according to my source. While I can’t get anyone to officially confirm it, I’ve heard chatter that the series will spotlight the Laugh Who Batmans, a Gotham stand-up comedian who becomes a vigilante fighting alongside Batman. Snyder has promised the new character will “only be used in this series” and definitely “not in every other book across the line.”
If these books have not been confirmed by the time you read this piece, keep refreshing XavierFiles.com. The news will come along.
For sure.
Tuesday: DC Drops / DClassified Continues with Batman
In DC books out this week, if Batman and Joker go to war and no one cares, is it actually happening? Please — and this goes back to Endgame and whenever Joker’s brought up as the Big Bad to end all Big Bads — may I live long enough to read “the last Joker event forever, we promise we’re serious this time” and it actually be true. I’m already exhausted, and I haven’t even read the prelude to the damn thing.
DClassified: A focus on Batman
Tuesday’s books will center on Batman…although one may not have the amount of Caped Crusader you might expect, Loyal Content Consumer.
THOMAS WAYNE, M.D.: Logline from an email I was shown: “Before there was Batman, before there was Crime Alley. Before there was a philanthropist, there was a doctor. See Thomas Wayne’s triumphs as a healer in this gripping midcentury medical drama as Dr. Wayne overcomes stress, raises a son and tackles an outbreak of Legionnaires’ disease.”
BATMAN ’69: This one started upstairs with WarnerMedia executives. “What if we took that old Adam West series and sexed it up?” wrote one suit in an email that was forwarded to no less than five different departments and read by exactly no one. Current plans call for explicit violence, sexual liberation and more adult themes than the original television show but, as the executive clarified, “we want to keep the branding there because we feel like it has a solid appeal.” As of now, the idea is to get Sean Gordon Murphy (“We like his energy, but we love his dumbass fans,” said one anonymous executive) for the book, but I’m told if his asking price is too high, DC will pivot to Frank Miller or any other random white guy with an “edgy” take on Batman.
Wednesday: NCBD for the Rest of the Industry / DClassified Goes Dark
Not the busiest of NCBDs this week (Has the post-coronavirus restart seemed … slow to anyone else?), but there are a few interesting new books, including writer Benjamin Percy’s “Wolverine” #3, satirist and all-around good human Mark Russell’s Billionaire Island #3 and writer Sean Lewis’ Bliss #1, a new eight-issue Image series about the depths we can sink to if we don’t have to remember the mess we’re in.
DClassified: Controversy generates cash
There is a certain ethical unseemliness in continuing to exploit Watchmen and, by proxy, co-creator Alan Moore, who will never regain the rights to the property so long as the original series remains in print thanks to the deal he signed with DC. But that hasn’t stopped DC or WarnerMedia executives, and it won’t stop them from committing to the new books set to be announced Wednesday:
THE BATMAN’S GRAVE, DELUXE TRADE EDITION: “I’ve seen the website,” one executive told me. “But we’re still soliciting the rest of the series. Might as well go all in, right?” The trade will be a bound leather volume that includes a foreword from Ellis in which he thanks DC for “allowing this small and insignificant man to tell a 12-issue story with one of the greatest comic book characters in history even after all of his abuse was made painfully public.”
GREEN LANTERN CORPS/BOB’S BURGERS: Logline: “Tina, Gene and Louise learn that Forced Diversity is a bad thing when Hal Jordan and Simon Baz come to town and can’t get along. Includes Jessica Cruz pinups! Note: Jessica Cruz is not included in the story.” Co-published with Dynamite. Written and drawn by Ethan Van Sciver. According to WarnerMedia projections, the Indiegogo campaign for the book should raise $1.8 million, an astronomical sum for a comic that will be delayed indefinitely.
Thursday: MLB Opening Day / DClassified Goes Digital
The shortest (60 games), weirdest (universal DH, freebie baserunner in extra innings, regional scheduling), most depressing season in baseball history begins Thursday night as the defending World Series champion Washington Nationals host the New York Yankees. Will they make it through the whole incredibly abbreviated season? Will Cy Youngs, MVPs, batting titles and other signifiers of great accomplishment feel real? Will any of it matter? Impossible to know, but it’s awfully telling that Canada officially said it was too dangerous for the Jays to play in Toronto while 29 other teams have a goddamn green light from federal and state officials.
DClassified: Being a good friend to Warner Bros. Interactive
Thursday begins three days of maximizing ties across various WarnerMedia properties, starting with video games:
MORTAL KOMBAT: “We did one in 2015,” reads one executive’s email. “And I’m not quite sure why we stopped. We didn’t stop making the game, so why would we quit on the comic? So what if the story is nonsense? Keep pushing the product. Someone ask Ed Boon for a few story hints, and then shape whatever he says into something we can put into the stores. And if Ed doesn’t want to spoil anything, tell the comic people to just go nuts. Not like anyone would be able to tell the difference.”
UNTITLED LEGO PROJECT: My sources were unclear as to the scope or aims of the Lego project, but they did say it would not be an adaptation of the Lego Movie universe — rather, it seems like it will be an anthology book that picks up the different universes (at least the ones available to DC) and tries to tell some interrelated stories. One property to not expect in the series is Lego Harry Potter. “Oh, no,” said one DC editor. “Wouldn’t touch that with Marvel’s 10-foot pole.”
Friday: Radioactive drops on Amazon Prime / DClassified Goes to the Movies
The coronavirus has disrupted nearly every aspect of modern American life — but that disturbance is no more profound than in our moviegoing habits. Even in my insane “Gee, everything is normal, go on about your business and die for the economy” town, the theater is closed and will continue to be for…weeks? Months? So because we’re not sitting in a big dark room with a bunch of strangers for a bit, the streamers are stepping up with movies that, under better circumstances, would have gotten a traditional theatrical release. And while Radioactive, a Marie Curie biopic, doesn’t have the prestige of something like Tom Hanks’ Greyhound, it still looks like a perfectly good way to spend an evening at home. However, don’t let the “based on a graphic novel” label fool you: I’m incredibly generous when it comes to these things, but it’s more illustrated prose than a traditional comic. (Still looks weird and cool, though!)
DClassified: Let’s adapt some stuff
The Warner catalog is vast. Time, it seems, to exploit it.
A STAR IS REBORN: Logline: “After an experimental procedure saves Jackson Maine, how far will Ally go to support her man? Will she throw her entire career away for a drunk who groomed her and exploited the power differential when they met?” Note from marketing: “We may want to lose that second sentence. Or are we doing some kind of ironic thing? That’s selling big these days if we are.” Note from editorial: “Can we get Bradley Cooper on this? Officially, of course — we’ll pay a ghost ‘co-writer’ some tiny pittance to do the hard work.”
RICHARD JEWELL: “This is a story America is ready for, especially our comic book fans,” goes one email from a WarnerMedia executive. “A disaffected, loner white guy is attacked by the media for being a hero? Our troglodytes will eat that up. Let’s see if we can cross promote with our friends at Dynamite.”
Saturday: Long Reads for the Weekend / DClassifed Goes to the MAX
In graphic novels and trades for the week, we’ve got the exclusive comiXology coffee and romance CREMA and the second volume of Star Trek: Year Five — although I’ve never quite forgiven the latter for the cardinal sin of the James Doohan fat joke in its first issue. One day. Perhaps.
DClassified: Let’s support the new streamer
HBO Max is a buggy fledgling streaming service with a dearth of content. It needs all the help its corporate siblings can provide.
ZACK SNYDER’S JUSTICE LEAGUE: One of my sources says this will be “100% Zack’s baby where he can do whatever he wants” after Warner denied his request to do reshoots. So it will be longer and somehow worse than both the theatrical cut and whatever is coming to HBO Max. While I can’t get anyone to confirm it, look for a partnership with Murphy on this book — their fanbases already overlap, and their ideas and aesthetics mesh well in that they’re terrible.
DOOMSDAY CLOCK 2, STARRING JOHN OLIVER: The mission of the original “Doomsday Clock” was to incorporate the classic Watchmen characters into the DC universe in a way that made some sort of sense. For the sequel, the idea is much the same, except here, John Oliver will be brought in to explain DC’s convoluted continuity and to offer helpful suggestions for changes that Dr. Manhattan will then enact — but since Oliver would argue “Doomsday Clock” shouldn’t exist in the first place, it appears they’ve written themselves into a real hole.
Sunday: Oswald Cobblepot’s Birthday / DClassifed Grabs the Final Fistful of Dollars
July 26 is the canonical birthday of one Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot. At least that’s what the internet tells me. And that’s what the internet is telling you now.
DClassified: The unseemliness of it all
The final books on DC’s slate are perhaps no worse than the others — but they are more naked in their ambitions. Or lack thereof.
PREACHER: A straight re-release of monthly floppies, my sources tell me. “It’s a classic Black Label book,” said one executive. “Black Label is the home for innovative, bold storytelling, and Preacher exemplifies everything it stands for. It’s always been a Black Label book. Why, what have you heard?”
BATMAN BLACK AND WHITE AND NOW IN COLOR: Logline: “The classic stories of Batman Black and White now in stunning color! Was the original too moody and different for you? Give it another try now that it looks like everything else!”
A final note: All plans for these books are subject to change, so if they aren’t announced this week, it’s not that I was wrong.
I’m never wrong.
Will Nevin loves bourbon and AP style and gets paid to teach one of those things. He is on Twitter far too often.
